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Been through a major break up? Thinking thoughts like, "Can I get my ex boyfriend back?" Remember... relationships are very much like snowflakes-no two are exactly alike, so who knows? But before you give up hope and just "accept" being brokenhearted as your new way of life, I'm going to answer some questions people most often ask when considering getting back with their ex.

If the break-up was all my fault, can I get my ex boyfriend back?

Yes, you can, but only if the relationship means enough to you to swallow your pride, and beg his forgiveness for whatever you did to cause the split. While this can be a little hard on your ego, you can take consolation in the fact that pride, while not very tasty, is extremely low in calories and contains zero trans fat.

If the break-up was all his fault, can I get him back?

Again, the answer is yes, but unlike the above scenario, where you're asking for forgiveness, the price of forgiveness can drastically increase when you're the "offended" party.

Weighing the potential of reconciliation and a great future spent together, against the possibility of him "mistaking" your love for stupidity-which now has him thinking that he's "Big Pimp Willie," the world-class player, calls for some serious soul searching on your part. The last thing any woman would want is for a guy to think that he can "break" your heart, and leave you "crawling" back for more.

On the other hand, many wonderful and lasting "second chance" relationships have resulted from young ladies who decided that they just had to have an answer to the question, "Can I get my ex boyfriend back?"

Can I get my ex boyfriend back if he has a new ex-girlfriend revenge?

This can be a very tricky for you to deal with. On one hand, he's now a lot harder to get alone because his new ex-girlfriend revenge is now his number one concern and will most likely get the majority of his time and attention.

On the other hand, she may just be a rebound move on his part-you may still be the one who holds the key to his heart! The only sure way to know is this: Go for it-you'll never know unless you give it a try!

Can I trick my ex boyfriend into coming back?

There's a famous quote that says, "All is fair in love and war." Many believe that statement to be true and use it as rationale for pursuing relationships with an anything-goes-as-long-as-I-get-what-I-want type of attitude.

While this may work for some people, there's a much older saying that says, "You reap what you sow" . . . meaning that things begun by sleazy methods will ultimately produce sleazy results. My experience has shown that "tricks" only lead to treats if it happens to be Halloween.

At the end of the day, your quest to regain lost love will likely call for you to adjust the way you relate to your ex in terms of actions and attitudes. Here are a few more tips that might help you.

1. Get real -This might involve asking yourself some tough questions about your part in the breakup, like . . . did you help drive him away by constantly nagging, complaining, or criticizing his every move?

2. Don't believe the hype -Underneath the macho front, there's a real person . . . with feelings, needs, and even insecurities just like you! Be prepared to be the "bigger person" in petty squabbles, even when you know you're right. Remember to ask yourself this question: "Would I rather be 'right' or 'lonely'?"

3. Think of your relationship as an investment -Don't be afraid to pay now to be rewarded later.

I should let you know that I am not an expert myself; the tips I gave you, I got from The Magic of Making Up a book by a guy named T Dub' Jackson.

Good luck!

Get more tips and advice at Second Chance at Romance. And make sure to check out "The Magic of Making Up"; also available at squidoo.com/makinguparticles/

posted by atomxxfa  # 6:14 PM